Monday, August 25, 2014

No apologies

I know women tend to apologize more and carry guilt longer than their male counterparts.  I manage to take it up a notch.  

On Saturday, BF and I had separate plans with our respective friends.  Since my plans would end earlier, we agreed that I’d potentially meet up with him and his people. And if not, he’d definitely meet me and my friends at night, when we planned to go out.  He’s easy like that.

After my daytime BBQ, I met up with BF and had a great time with his friends for a few hours.  Things were winding down, but the remaining stragglers ended up playing a fun game.  After two rounds, I gently asked BF if we could go, because I didn’t want to be late to meet my friends.  He was perfectly amenable to that and yet… I felt guilty!  I felt bad for making him leave a fun activity with a coed group, to go hang out with mostly girls doing girly things like going dancing.  Even though BF was perfectly agreeable to leaving, my paranoid self was worried he didn't really want to go out with my friends.

Thanks to too much sun and wine, I got rather drunk and sick that night.  I was so passed out, I slept through a 6.1 earthquake!!  BF took care of me and stayed over, which I’m sure was not fun for him, sleeping in my overly hot apartment next to a restless drunk girl.  I thanked him twice, apologized too many times, and spend Sunday (after he left) feeling both deathly ill and horribly upset about my behavior.

Again, silliness.  Who hasn’t had one too many drinks and gotten sick (ok, maybe not in their 30s)?  And is it wrong to have your boyfriend take care of you in those moments?  I’d definitely do the same for him.   BF texted me later in the day to ask how I was doing (the answer:  puking up water) and made plans for this week.  He's such a good guy.  

Because he's a boy and I'm a girl, I will remind myself:  do not bring up Saturday night drunken behavior.  Do not apologize for being sick, do not thank him (for the third time) for taking care of me.  And stop worrying.  It's fine.

Monday, August 11, 2014


An interesting look at "read receipts" on phones, and how privacy keeps taking a hit.  I'm enjoying the #Love series on TechCrunch.  I particularly like the quotes from women who say they don't always read texts from men right away just to keep the mystery going.

I never use read receipts for texts.  It just opens myself up to getting offended if someone sees my text but takes hours or days to respond.

BF and I have a mixed-device relationship so the read receipts don't work and we can't see each other typing.  Thank goodness.


Monday, August 4, 2014

Is butter a carb?

I returned from my week of travels last night.  As much as I love seeing family and being in my architecturally gorgeous home city, it's great to be back!

BF and I had plans to hang out the night I returned; we ordered take out and caught up.  We kept in regular touch while I was away; sent brief emails once a day and chatted on the phone a couple of times.  It was the perfect amount of contact for me, not overwhelming but enough to share tidbits until we could talk.

Impulse decision of the week:  I joined Weight Watchers online, in a fit of frustration after my mom pointed out my recent weight gain.  The goal is 10 lbs, which is enough to fit into my "happy" size 6.

Saturday, August 2, 2014


With a week of flights and hotel rooms, I've plowed through nearly 3 books this week.

Eleanor and Park:  really wanted to like this based on reviews from friends, but just couldn't get into it.  I can handle young adult literature when it has an intriguing background or plot (e.g. Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Fault in Our Stars).  And the characters, especially Eleanor, certainly invoked my sympathy  But besides that, it was just teenage love.  Maybe I'm just dead inside.

The Pursuit of Mary Bennet:  For all you Jane Austen fans, this a good read that takes place in the world of Pride & Prejudice.  I was a little hesitant after reading horrible sequels like Death Comes to Pemberly and Mrs. Darcy.  Also a good read in that category is Longbourn, which is about the Bennet family's servants.

The Cuckoo's Calling:  Love JK Rowling!

Other recent reads:
The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P:  A guy's perspective of dating in NY.  Made me hate men.  
Sisterland:  Twin sisters with psychic powers.  Really rich character detail, liked this a lot.
The Forever Girl:  Interesting fictional account of ex-pat life in the Cayman Islands.
Bridget Jones 3:  Mad About the Boy:  She's all grown up and a mom!  Enjoyable but not as fun as single 30-something Bridget.

Friday, August 1, 2014


I admit I love hashtags.  It's a mockingly amused sort of love.  They've really become part of our vernacular.  But until the day comes that hashtags are unacceptable *shudder*, I will continue to use them.  Even in spoken conversation.  Even as an anachronism #imsoexcited #imsoscared  Even in client meetings #alwaysbeclosing

Where I draw the line?  Couples hashtags.  Now, wedding hashtags are fine, because it's an fun way to see lots of different posts from an event.  But when a couple consistently adds to their mundane posts #jimandkathy or #themurphys, I wonder what the point is.

Unless you're trying to be ironic and silly, there is #no #need #for #a #couple #hashtag.

This post was inspired by my own Facebook feed, where an old classmate crowd-sourced his social network to come up with a clever hashtag for him and his fiance.  #blurgh

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Do you text someone and then throw your phone across the ocean?

For the slow texters in my life, including a rather handsome one, I want to use all of these responses when they don't text back quickly enough.

My favorites:

This person using pop culture references.

This person with standards.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014


My friend showed me a new dating app she's using called JSwipe, which  is essentially Tinder for Jewish people.  I wonder what other religions/ethnic groups have their version of Tinder.  As much as I hate the Tinder model (I'm bitter that no one ever wrote me on Tinder besides creepy out-of-town visitors), I'm all for technology helping people meet.  Has anyone used it?

As we went through my friend's JSwipe, we came across this guy with the most amazing profile picture.  I told her she should like him just to get the story behind it.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Measuring time

My romantic feelings have lately taken on an obsessive feel.  Not in action, only in thought.  Like measuring time by when I get to see the boy.

It's strange.  I'm certainly not short on other activities to keep me busy.  I've spent as much time with friends this weekend as I have with BF.  He's been quite sick so we haven't so much as kissed in over two weeks.

I've just been craving the comfort of his presence.  Reassurance, maybe.  Last week, I had a serious talk with him about communication and since then, he's upped the effort of messaging everyday.  It makes me feel warm and appreciated that he's receptive and not dismissive when I tell him what's bothering me.

This week I'm traveling for work to my home city and able to stay through Sunday.  Lucky me, a free trip home.  Yet I'm already thinking about how I hope I get to see BF the night I return to San Francisco in a whole week.  Get a grip, Sabrina!

Other update: I've been trying to tone down the "worst case scenario" thinking that fuels anxiety.  It's hard to train your mind not to go there.  For example:  spent a few hours at BF's place this evening.  I could sense he was getting tired (being sick), so I said I'd leave and let him rest.  The anxious side of my brain was nervous that he didn't insist I stay longer.  Worst case scenario thoughts raced through my mind, mostly "this is the beginning of the end!"   Realistically, the guy was sick and probably wanted to be alone or zone out.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Therapy and moral hazard

My long overdue first therapy session in ages last night was great.  The therapist said a few things that really stuck with me, such as how anxiety is all about "worst case scenario thinking" and his goal is to get me out of that mindset.  He also reminded me that I'm not responsible for anyone else's feelings, when I confessed to him that I'm a people-pleaser.

However, there's one teeny tiny problem:  the therapist is HOT.

He's really hot. He's so hot that I would giggle like a giddy girl if he ever approached me in a bar.  He's so hot that I'm having "therapist/patient" sex fantasies.  He's so hot that I secretly want him to say he can't have me as a patient any more because he has a crush on me.

I'm sticking to my resolution of not blogging about my love life this week (why make my anxiety worse?) but I do have updates, both good and bad.  

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Funnies and randoms

This sums up my Facebook feed:

And I discovered this hashtag on Twitter, #diamondsofthe30X.  Non-San Franciscans: the 30X is the express bus that goes between downtown and the Marina neighborhood, which is the land of gingham wearing bros and Lululemon clad former sorority girls.  Or rich families.  I'm stereotyping, but it's not exactly a neighborhood known for its racial or economic diversity.