Why is it that a girl who values her time is seen as boring or not dateable? A seemingly promising guy asked me, at 4:56pm, if I wanted to do happy hour tonight. When I politely declined (internally I was seething at his presumptuousness), he said "Wow, I guess you're not into being spontaneous, huh?"
Listen up, boys. There's a difference between friendship spontaneity and boy spontaneity.
Friends: I love when a girlfriend hits me up for last-minute drinks! More often than not, I'm game - it's the beauty of being young and single. But if I decline, I know she's not going to take it personally.
Boys: On a first date, spontaneity is unacceptable. It is the equivalent of being a guy's second choice, an after-thought on his list of daily activities. If I accept the date, he's ultimately going to take my time for granted. But if I decline, he'll think I'm boring, which I am most decidedly not.
It's a double-edged sword. For the most part, I do like to plan my social calendar in advance; it keeps my ubiquitous loneliness in check. But I'm certainly flexible and spontaneous with my girlfriends.
This is the 5th guy in January that has asked me for a last-minute date and the 5th I've declined. Am I destined to be alone forever?