Am I just stubbornly clinging onto my old ways? Is re-adjusting to the "new dating" just like adopting a new technology where you're eventually going to get on board? Or I am staying true to what I want by refusing to be an afterthought? Is it too much to want a man who doesn't take me for granted, respects my time, and is willing to put effort into a relationship?
I choose the latter. If it means I'm alone forever, so be it.
I choose the latter. If it means I'm alone forever, so be it.
8 comments:
If I ever re-adjust to the idea of a last minute invite being considered okay on a general basis, especially early on, I'm going to be very sad. At least make an effort early on, guys!
I saw this article and thought about you girls who blog about dating. I don't think you should adjust your expectations. If you're going to be "courted" in this way from the beginning, imagine the laziness which will ensure later on. Maybe this is still a problem when you meet someone the good old fashioned way (actually, I think it is) but this seems like an inherent problem with online dating now. People have gotten so friggin lazy.
OMG I just read the article. I don't understand how behavior like that has become acceptable. I mean who wants to be an add-on to a group for a first date? I get it after a few face to face meet-ups but for a first meeting? That just doesn't work for me. Especially when inside I'm gonna feel like all his friends are judging me. This shit has become too complicated.
It's all just..... depressing. It's so true that the lazy dating and texting is the norm now. How is this an improvement? *sigh*
I hate that this template doesn't let me reply to individual comments!
Bluemoon - early effort is generally an indicator of later effort. If sitcoms have taught me anything, it's that guys try even less as the relationship progresses.
Obx - I'm glad you agree and that it's not just my single-girl bitterness coming out. :)
Ash - I did the group meet-up for a first date just once, and it was beyond awkward. What was I thinking?!
Skeptic - I feel like giving up. Not really, but it's frustrating.
Near the end of my time as a single serial dater, I came up with these rules:
1. NEVER respond to a text unless the guy has called you first.
2. Never agree to a date unless it's asked in person or over the phone.
3. If you meet a guy at a bar, and he sends you a text inside the bar the same night. RUN, don't walk, away.
4. If you call him, and he texts you back immediately, never call him again.
5. If you're online dating, meet as soon as possible. DO NOT try to develop a "relationship" before you actually meet. Get to know each other over coffee, not instant messenger. (I wrote a post about a drug addict that I liked before I knew he was a drug addict because I liked him before I met him...and it was a bad experience all around.)
6. The nice guys are out there. They just...aren't going to pursue you as fast and easy as the bad boys. Sometimes, you have to take the lead a little bit if you think it's worth it. (I asked Brian once if he would have chased me...he said no. Lucky for me, I basically stalked him until he asked me out.)
7.If he asks about anything sexual before you've so much as met him...RUN.
There are probably more, but these are the important ones.
Chrissy, a friend of mine said the exact same thing, that the nice quieter boys are always really hesitant to approach which means you have to be more brave and talk to them. Probably why I end up dating jerks, because it's the bad boys that lay it on thick and I'm too afraid to approach the guys I WANT to talk to because I've got it stuck in my head that they'll never want to talk to ME. *sigh*
Take chances ladies at least you feel you put in your all! It is a rewarding feeling!!!
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