Stockings and wardrobe malfunctions

Normal women use garters to hold up their stockings (and by normal I mean women in the 1950s). I, on the other hand, am currently using band-aids. Note to self: never buy thigh-high stockings from H&M, they lose their grip after a few wears. I usually get them from Victoria’s Secret, but I thought I’d try to save $6 and go with the cheaper pair. 

Let me tell you, you can’t put a price on a grown woman walking across the street tugging up at her stockings while the wind blows her pleated skirt up. In the end, I ducked into a men’s suit boutique (of course), sat in a chair, and proceeded to hike up my skirt and adjust. Essentially, it was a gay man’s nightmare.

I’m off to a blind date with a gay midget. I can’t be certain he’s a gay midget, but this was set up by a mutual acquaintance and I have no idea what to expect. Cheers.