I caught up on the phone today with a friend I haven't talked to in a year. In talking to her, and reading Bluemoon's post about a relationship unraveling, it made me angry at myself for still feeling upset over the one 'relationship' that I thought really had potential. This one dramatically went flat with no explanation. (Those of you who have read my blog for awhile might have heard this, so my apologies)
I'd been dating Mr. Asshole for about 2 months; he was not only one of the most attractive guys I'd ever dated, but I loved how expressive he was about his feelings towards me. He boasted about me to his friends, he thought our relationship could be "it," he made all sorts of plans for the future. The littlest things, like taking me camping and bringing extra blankets because he knew I hated sleeping bags.
One day, he planned a double date with his best buddy &buddy's girlfriend so I could meet them. Mr. Asshole sheepishly asked if he could introduce me to them as his "girlfriend." Adorable, right? We had a fabulous dinner during which his buddy pulled Mr. Asshole to tell him awesome I was.
That night, we spent the night at my place and spent Sunday morning laying in bed, talking. We continued to text all of Sunday. Monday night, he called me to say hi, we chatted about work, and then he asked if he could come over the next night to cook dinner. He said he saw a recipe in the New York Times that I'd love. Cooking together was a pretty typical weekly thing for us at that point, and we agreed on 7pm.
On Tuesday evening, I'd bought both red and white wine on the way home, not knowing what he was cooking. 7pm rolls around, and I don't hear from him. 8pm. 9pm. I finally call and leave a voicemail.
I never heard from him again. Per Facebook, he wasn't dead or ill. Months later, I ran into him at a bar and calmly told him he owed me apology. His only explanation was "it just wasn't working out."
I knew I'd ultimately dodged a bullet, but this hurt for a really long time. It still does. I felt so betrayed. I still can't help but compare every guy I've ever gone out with since to Mr. Asshole. With Mr. Asshole, there was instant connection, both emotional and physical. I couldn't believe that a guy who was that smart and gorgeous found me attractive.
That's my one big jaw-dropping story, the one I tell to entertain new girlfriends. It's my horrible badge of honor.