Friday, March 7, 2014

Another boomerang boy

Today, I received an OkC message from this guy, who had cancelled our date three months ago, and never rescheduled because I was running 30 min late due to a last-min appearance by our CEO. A week later, the guy had actually texted to tell me he started seeing someone and was going to pursue it.  Fair enough.

Today, he wrote me saying "Hey, I know it's been awhile, but are you still interested in grabbing a drink?"

I'm not taking it personally that he back-burnered me while he pursued a potential relationship, I'd probably do the same.  But I wonder how we've become a society of dating back-up plans and priority lists.  For instance, a girl can go out with Boy A and Boy B, and will accept a date from Boy C but only if Boy A hasn't asked her out?  Or leave Boy B on a hook while she gives Boy A a month to step up, and then go back to Boy B if A doesn't pan out.

I know that this is normal, but it kind of freaks me out that this has become normal. 


  1. Soo....the real question is...are you going to say yes??


  2. This is normal when dating becomes something you work at rather than something that happens naturally.

  3. I would go out with him again. Why not? Especially since he explained about pursuing someone else.

    I think that this is the new way of dating. This is a symptom of people having too many options, and being socially connected wherever you go.

  4. No, it's always been like this. I'm 10+ years older than you. It just wasn't as obvious because we didn't have social media/online dating/ texting/voxer/etc. I remember having guys on the back burner/in the wings (sorry, dudes). I'd go on the date, why not?

  5. A similarish thing happened to me. I was supposed to meet up with a guy months ago, he told me he wasn't feeling well three days in advance, and I agreed to a raincheck; just heard from him today (yes, a month or two later, hahaha).

    Maybe he met someone he was more into, maybe he was busy with work, yadda yadda. Who cares - those are all excuses for he wasn't that into me. He will not get a second chance

  6. I would say no. Why would you want to go out with someone who wasn't really that interested before and is now looking to you as his backup option. No, thanks.

  7. If I were single and didn't want to be, I would give everyone a chance, unless I absolutely wasn't interested. Things happen and at least they are interested enough to try again. I wouldn't let my ego get in the way. After all, if you only messaged a guy a few times, of course he isn't that into you....yet. What's the worst that could happen? A couple hours over coffee and you might make a new friend. Or it could be great!

  8. With online dating, before meeting someone, I feel like they don't owe me anything. They don't know me. Yes, he cancelled at the last minute, but he also explained why he wasn't going to set another date (he was seeing someone). I think being so upfront was actually really cool of him.

    Getting "rejected" before you've met isn't really a rejection. If I go out with someone, and THEN they cancel a second date last minute, or choose to date someone else over me, I wouldn't agree to another date a month later. But that's not the case here.

    If it were me, and I had any interest at all, I would meet and see what's up!


Speak now or forever hold your peace.